A Mess of Men

 

Before I met Mr. Wonderful, I went through 20 different guys trying to find my one, true soulmate. Okay... so I wasn't actually trying to find "the one" but I was definitely trying to find someone to do the cliches with. I had never had a real boyfriend, more along the lines of "Yeah, we're talking but I don't think it's official YET but it totally will be.... oh my gosh don't tell him I said that" kind of flings (AKA boys who didn't want to date me.) They didn't want to be with me for numerous reasons, I'm sure. Whether it was because I had a firm "I'm not sleeping with you" giggle down perfectly or the fact that I was kind of rough around the edges and slightly classified as a do all end all hopeless romantic that was too high strung to even THINK about settling down with. My point is, going from failed relationship attempt to failed relationship attempt, I fell into a low self esteem bracket. After one of my biggest blows to the heart, I reversed the roles. I decided if I couldn't get guys to want to date me - I would try being in their positions instead. Getting guys to like me and dropping them was way more fun and a lot less painful. I finally understood why guys were such jerks. Ladies, it's called an "ego boost" and this is a very short list of ways I've learned you can avoid being put on their (probable) long list.

1. Don't play the game

If you think you have to play hard to get to get a guys attention, you're wrong. If this has worked for you before, he is probably not the best guy. The issue with the dating game is once you start playing hard to get, they tend to lose interest once you show that you're actually not so hard to get.

2. Be honest

Be honest with him, if you know what you want, you shouldn't be afraid to let him know too. There's no hard feelings when you discover you both want different things and in the end, it'll save a lot of arguments from happening.

3. If He Isn't Living Up To Standards

Do NOT I repeat do NOT accept a deal-breaker-flaw just because he's got a killer smile and his hugs give you butterflies. If you want a guy that has drive, don't settle for a guy that lives day to day and hasn't thought about his future. That may be for some people but if it's not for you, don't opt out for a "new experience" that "might be good for you." Do. Not. Settle.

4. Ask The Important Questions

Don't ask him on the first date where he sees you two in five years. But you can definitely ask where he sees himself in 5 years. It's important to know what you're getting into, as goes for him. Be open, but don't let yourself get into an hour long vent session. How he responds to your do-or-die questions will say a lot about his character and whether or not he's taking your date as seriously as you are. 

Side note: before I had a confidence boost, I was very content with always being sad. This is a horrible thing to fall into. You'll find yourself rejecting the nice guys because they're actually trying for your attention. Trust me, if a guy isn't ignoring you and wants to take you on a date it isn't creepy, it's actually quite admirable. Let yourself be happy. That's the best advice I have to give. Oh and never kiss on the first date, it's better to have them wishing you did. ;)

XO - D

Not Your Goals

I have quite a few people that love my relationship. They love how we are around each other, they love the pictures we post and the status' of how grateful we are to have each other on bad days. What they don't know about are the days we can't seem to do anything but yell, the fifteen pictures we tried to take that did not make us look photogenic in the slightest and how a lot of the time, we forget to be thankful for one another and everything that is done for each other. What people don't know is everything that we don't post. Michael doesn't post about me when I wake up and randomly decide that he is going to irritate me all day no matter how sweet he is. But in return, I don't post about the days he's snippy with me because of a source outside our relationship that he doesn't want to talk about just yet. You don't know about these days because we don't let you know about them. But you also don't know about all of the good things, too. For example, none of you know how my heart feels after Michael and I can't stop laughing for fifteen minutes over the same stupid thing. Or the way my entire body is calm the second he wraps his arm around me right before we fall asleep. You also don't know how he saw the world in me when I wasn't proud of who I was. Or how I drive him to be a better person. I'm not writing this to say you don't know anything about us so you don't actually love our relationship, because that's not true. But you see what we want you to see, you don't see everything. So don't say we're your "goals" because you like how he kisses my cheek in pictures or "I'm jealous of your relationship" because of the way we boast about how wonderfully we're treated. Instead, set a standard for yourself. Don't wish to be like us, because when it comes down to it, we fight for a healthy relationship every single day. He has to watch his temper just like I have to continuously put my pride to the side when I owe him an apology. What I'm trying to get across is, nobody is perfect together, not effortlessly. You fight, you mold, you learn what flaws to love and what flaws need tweaking. You learn that he really cannot stand mayonnaise and he figures out that chocolate isn't expected (nor invited) on Valentine's Day. You will come to a point where you find out that loving someone doesn't make everything fall into place, that devotion to that person does. You also learn that just because something is in place for a while, doesn't mean that things won't slip up every now and again. Loving someone isn't work, but becoming the best version of yourself with the person you love definitely is. So don't label couples with "goals" instead set your own standards and find someone that you want forever that mutually will not give up on you.

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1. Be considerate of everyone & consider yourself 

Being a nice person is important in this cruel, selfish world. Remember to be nice to yourself too.

2.  Be respectful to every single person you come in contact with & respect yourself 

When you're respectful to someone, they can't say anything negative about your character. Make sure you respect yourself ultimately, if you don't, people won't respect you.

3. Be a good friend & let people be a good friend to you

Be a good friend, you'll never know when you'll need one. But also let people be good to you, don't be stubbornly independent. Depending on others isn't always all that bad.

4. Don't underestimate what people are capable of, don't ever put someone down for their ambitions & don't underestimate yourself or start calling your plans dreams.

You don't want to be blindsided by competition. But you also don't want to lose the race because you never believed you could finish. Believing in yourself goes a long way.

5. Be slow to anger & quick to listen with a sympathetic ear.

You won't be heard when you're yelling and no one will want to understand your side if you don't want to understand theirs. This is extremely important in relationships of any kind. 

6. Don't forget at the end of the day, people will have to live with who they are & so will you.

You may have more fun laughing with your girlfriends over the hideous outfits Jessica puts together everyday but the next day, you have to face who you are. It's better to be known as a good person than to be hated for a weak moment that you didn't show the best version of you. 

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for what I'm not." 

Are you proud of you?

XO - D

Ps. Check out Selena Gomez's Revival Album! Download it now! 

Oc-time-to-buy-ber

Okay so we all know that was super lame, but it truly is THE time to buy (AKA October thru December every year.) Even though the amount of money I'm wanting vs. the amount of money I have is quite different, with these deals - you simply cannot say no.

ULTA - Buy 3 Lipsticks for $9
Bath & Body Works - 2 one wick candles for $20
Victoria's Secret - 7 for $27

The first place I ventured to was ULTA. Where lipstick is on sale, I will be found. I've never used ULTA lipstick brand but one of my life long friends said it was a fabulous lipstick, regardless of the low price. Being friends for 7 years, I had to believe her. Luckily, I'm not disappointed by anything except their lack of stock. I was feeling the nudes, as you can tell but there's no shame here! Nude is the new vamp red for fall, obviously (okay just to me but whatever.) Aside from being pleasantly surprised, I will be going back to get more of the MATTE Lip Cream because they are so pigmented and creamy...and cheap.

If you prefer Yankee Candle over Bath & Body Works, I don't trust you. Kidding, kind of. Call me basic, it won't be the first time. But you're lying if you tell me you don't love candles. You're also lying if you tell me you DON'T like Bath & Body Work's Fall Line. Just do me a favor and go pick up Pumpkin Pecan Waffles, Pumpkin Pie and Vanilla Pumpkin Marshmallow. You can thank me later. (side note, my boyfriend walked into my house after I blew out my Pumpkin Pie candle and he had thought I was baking something pumpkin for dessert. It doesn't get much better than that.)

And as for Victoria's Secret I only have one thing to say:

Happy Shopping! XO - D

It's Aca-Tober

Sorry, I had to. Happy October! The only month of the year that I simply cannot have bad days. Is Christmas a happy holiday? Of course. Are people in a better mood around that time? Absolutely. Does the month of October beat out every other month of the year? No doubt in my mind and if you disagree, you're wrong. 

Now I know some of you are shaking your heads at me in utter disbelief but never fear, I am here with 42 reasons October cannot be beat. (Please note that this is a list of FACTS.)

1. The weather (in Florida) goes from Sunny & 105 to low 80's with a beautiful breeze

2. Hay Rides

3. Apple Cider

4. Disney Halloween Movies

5. 13 Nights of Halloween on ABC Fam

6. Pumpkin EVERYTHING

7. The fall makeup shades

8. Fall hair dye

9. The cool decorated acrylics

10. Fuzzy Socks

11. Victoria's Secret's ADORABLE Halloween undies 

12. Bath & Body Works fall line of scents

13. DRESSING UP

14. Golfing is way more enjoyable in this weather

15. Starbucks drinks, am I right?

16. You can scare people all month long and it's completely acceptable

17. Baking sweets to look far from edible

18. Haunted walks 

19. Scary movies are only okay to be viewed during this month (otherwise they should be banned)

20. Candy my friends.

21. Warm colors in wardrobes are all the rage

22. Halloween socks

23. Pumpkin patches

24. Pumpkin carving

25. Pumpkin seed baking 

26. Trees turn orange (minus palm trees)

27. Fall Tag on YouTube

28. Doing your makeup like you're a vampire is 100% socially embraced

29. Taylor Swift is coming to Tampa ON HALLOWEEN

30. Those sugar cookies with printed Halloween items on them. You know what in talking about and now you're considering going and buying them because they're just that good.

31. You can walk into just about every store and it's decorated for Halloween

32. Candy Corn

33. You can wear scarf and not pass out from heat stroke

34. Walking to your car you no longer have to worry about melting into a puddle

35. The never ending rain is finally ending 

36. You have adorable little kids all in costume come to your house for free candy 

37. Decorating your house to be terrifying on the outside and amazing on the inside

38. Dressing up your cats (just me?)

39. You get passed the first few weeks of football and into the good stuff

40. You can leave your house open and burn candles which brings "homey feelings" to a whole new level

41. Booties. We all love them.

42. Tradition, brings the family together. There's so much you can do with your loved ones. Make sure you find ways to make memories, you'll only regret the ones you don't make. 

You'll be hearing from me soon, xo - D