Gone For Good

 I'm not one to stay up late, I'm really not one to stay up past 9 pm. So you should know it's very unusual for me to be awake at 1 a.m. I've read numerous things saying that when you stay up late like this that you cannot get away from your thoughts and feelings. I have found this to be true. While trying to avoid my thoughts and feelings (simply because I really, really don't want to face them) I go to where everyone goes to lose track of time and all reality: Pinterest. Pinning immaculate wedding rings and clothes that will never be in my price range is all good and fun until you come along something that makes you question a large amount of your own choices.

A quote, to be exact, that said, "Why are you looking for happiness where you lost it?" 

"Well to fix what once was of course!" Was my immediate reaction-response. But then I had realized just what I had said, "what once was". The word 'was' is past tense. You don't take food out of your mouth after it's been chewed and expect it to look the same. You don't buy a red shirt and be immensely shocked when it fades due to a year of washes. My point is, nothing is ever what it once was. I'm not going to lie to you, at first this realization made my heart sink. What do you mean nothing is ever going to be as it once was? You mean to tell me that nothing stays the same, EVER? This can be very intimidating to contemplate. As I did, I found myself very down and feeling negative while repeating in my head "nothing is ever going to be as it is right now" and that's when my lightbulb flickered on. Nothing is ever going to be as it is right now.

I'm going to be honest with you, frankly I'm not thrilled with how my day went. But my day went, it's over, and tomorrow is not going to be like today was. Your bad days, your low points, your heart-in-my-stomach sadness isn't going to be repeated. You will have more than one bad day, low point, and heart ache but luckily enough, it won't be the same. Yes, it could always get worse, but it also can always be better. So the next time you find yourself hurting and wanting to crawl under a rock or pull your hair out, just remind yourself that nothing is ever going to be as it is now.

You may not be able to find the same happiness where you lost it, but what if you found an even happier you.

XO - D