At What Cost?

Let me start by saying that I have found and have the pleasure of being so close with someone that makes my life easier and happier. I have a friend that I know will never leave my side; she's thoughtful, sweet, honest and loyal. She keeps me grounded, yet puts me on a pedestal. I admire her for everything she is and everything she's striving to be.

She's my best friend. But she wasn't my first best friend..or my second..or my third. People will reiterate to you that you'll go through friends and it's okay. That you'll have people come and go, and again, it's okay. Friends are meant to be in your life for change that you need a hand to hold and someone to eat a ton of cookie dough with. But just because someone is your closest friend for a certain amount of time, doesn't mean they always will be. I have gone through A LOT of friends and I've accumulated a short list that saves me some heart ache and exhaustion. Rules and simple factors that make, what I like to call the friendship process, a whole lot easier. 

1. Keeping a friendship shouldn't be hard work, but keeping a friendship does require some work. If you're doing all the work, stop working so damn hard.

2. If you're acting as their taxi, forever listening ear or DD, walk away. Nothing is worse than being the "disposable friend."

3. If all you do when together is talk about them, how great they're doing or even better, how much better they're doing than you. Please move to your nearest exit.

4. If they shut down or look uninterested when you need a listening ear. You should be able to call and receive help in a time of need.

5. If you simply just don't have anything in common. You go out all the time, I stay in. That doesn't make you out of control and that doesn't make me boring. It just makes us different. 

And last but not least 

6. Judgement free zone or leave. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Having friends isn't hard, finding quality people to be friends with is. It's not in the numbers that you'll be associated with, it's the character of those people that you will be. Don't put yourself in friend groups that make you feel less than, that you have to impress or entertain. And remember, keeping a good friend requires being one. 

XO - D