The Art of Making Friends

I've come to find that making friends is a difficult task for someone like me. I tend to be more on the reserved side unless approached, I come across as rude 99% of the time and when I do decide to warm up to you, it will be quick and kind of a handful (figuring I'll go from minimal talk to telling you my life story.) In the last couple of years I've lost and made more friends than I have in my entire lifetime (within that short of a time span).
Along the way, I think I finally got the hang of it. So here are my tips and tricks to not being mortified of a smiling stranger that just stood in your comfort zone during your 8 am coffee stop.


 1) Know who you are & What you like about yourself
The beginning of friendships, although awkward, can involve a lot of small talk. I consider small talk to be an art, not everyone can master it. As complicated as people tend to make it in their head, it's as simple as asking and answering basic get-to-know-you questions. The easiest way to own this? Ask questions you'd be comfortable answering and the rest will come naturally. Also, try not to keep your responses too short &/ long. The second you start talking about something you're passionate about, it'll keep the person engaged and it'll feel a lot more natural for you to hold this conversation with someone you're not the closest with.

2) Find the Common Ground
I don't care who you are, who it is or what they're into - you can find something in common with anyone. I'm not suggesting you are destined to be friends with everyone you pass at the store, but it is possible to have a friendly conversation. Find a mutual love! Whether it's food, makeup, or spending all day wearing PJ's watching F.r.i.e.n.d.s. Either way, you have your bonding topic, enjoy!

3)  Don't be afraid to make plans
I know it's an uncomfortable situation when you have someone you want to be closer with but just can't....figure out how to ask your new girl friend. And how do you seal the friendship? The first set of plans. This has a lot of pressure. It's hit or miss and you basically have this set of plans to make sure this friendship can be a good one, a lot like a first date. So pick something fun, something you will both agree on and don't sweat it. Remember, when you psych yourself out of something, it's always just in your head. Why let someone make you nervous when they're just like you? Someone with a past, passions and personality.

XO - D